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April 20

年华轮转之舞

 
    在年华的轮转线上,我孤独得如同一个孩子。
    几多青春不定,多么想就那么无悔地走下去,没有对错,没有尽头。
    突然回头间发现自己错了,走了一条错误的道路。曲折漫长,陷入时间的洪流无法自拔。总是在一次次迷失与彷徨中寻找自己的方向。幻想殊途同归,却不能。我的青春如此狭窄仓猝,不容回头甚至不能停留。很狼狈,很后悔。我始终还是上帝面前那个最最无辜的孩子。发现错了,回不了头。连回首的权利都没有。
    昨天一部电影震撼着我的心,《坏孩子的天空》,一夜心情难以平复,辗转反侧却无法安睡。
   --- “小马,我们完蛋了吗?” 
   ---“笨蛋,我们才刚开始呢!”
   我想哭却哭不出来。于是我写道“我静默看着天空,不哭也不闹...”我知道我曾丢了很多东西,但最想不到的是我把青春也给丢了,还有我自己。我要如何才能找回?我们总是骄傲的说我的青春无处安放,可现在,谁能告诉我我的青春跑哪去了?
   这似乎又是一个时刻,命运的转盘开始洗牌的时刻。我有重新选择的权利,也许在漫长的人生中仅剩这一回。曾经放弃了太多太多,唯一想不到的是不知在何时悄悄放弃了自我。我拿着镜子反复地照,却找不到那个原来的我。陪我留在身边的仅剩倔强与孤独。黑夜里我看见孤独正在慢慢长成一对黑黑的大翅膀,时间越长,这对翅膀越大。我正在被年华腐蚀,因为我走错路了。不想去抱怨上帝的不公,因为这本就是个不公的世界。可我要说,dear God,既然你没有给我指对我的方向,既然你的手从来没有公正过,既然在我最最需要你的时候你从来都不在家,那么我只能用我的双手取取回我失去的那一切。
   好在我手里还有一些东西弥足珍贵,我要用它来复制一份无悔青春。
   看着电影里的新志骑车带着小马重回那条一起重温那条无数次走过的路,在校园的操场上尽情地舞。我笑着流下了泪。年华那条轮回之线又回来了。在那里有欢笑有喜悦有悲伤又泪水,但最最重要的是那刻曾经来过。尽情舞吧,那是年华轮转之舞,岁月流逝之舞。就那样,静静地,默默的,我也想。
   好想,好想。
 

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Marjo chenwrote:
哎,沙发没了,就抢个小板凳看看!忽忽·····
May 16
薇薇wrote:
哦大哥。。。。真的寫得很好,是我喜歡的風格,不過每個人都不同學也學不來。只是我覺得我們身為一個星座,至少我們同樣不嬌柔和做作,(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……
Apr. 20

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